Hidden Memories
by copperwolf
Summary: at seventeen rin has forgotten sesshomaru and the time she lived with him. she now lives with her aunt and uncle. life is alright if boring except for the strange silver haired man who haunts her dreams who is he? my first fic so be nice!
1. dreams

Ch.1. Dreams  
  
"Sesshomaru don't let them take me I don't wanna leave!" Rin cried out to her demon guardian. Sesshomaru simply stood there.  
  
"They're your family Rin; you belong with other humans like you." The silver haired demon replied. Rin's aunt picked her up and carried her away from the castle.  
  
"It really is for the best that child will grow up half wild if left with you." Rin's uncle said.  
  
Sesshomaru grabbed the man by his neck. "If I find out you have hurt her in any way I will send you to the gates of hell myself."  
  
"Sesshomaru! Sesshomaru!" Rin continued to scream. Tears poured down the little girls face. Sesshomaru let go of the man.  
  
"Be well Rin." He said, "I will not forget you." And he leapt on to the back of his dragon and flew back to his castle.  
  
"No," her uncle said, "but she will forget you."  
  
Rin sat up in her bed. The seventeen year old sighed. That old dream again she had had it every night for the past week. She could barely remember it when she woke. All she remembered was that she was crying, there was a castle in the distance and a man with silver hair. She couldn't remember his face but she could remember his hair. And his eyes, she remembered his eyes this time; they were golden. I've never remembered his eyes before. Rin thought.  
  
"Rin!" it was her aunt, "time to get up you have chores to do!"  
  
"Coming auntie!" Rin called back as she got up dressed and climbed down the ladder from the loft where she slept. Her family were farmers. She had lived with her aunt and uncle since she was seven and worked on their farm. She had no memories from before that. She was told she had lived with her parents until then and that they had been killed by a demon. She had been raised to hate demons but for some reason she found she couldn't.  
  
"I had that dream again." She informed her aunt as she joined them down stairs.  
  
"Oh? Did you remember anything else?" her aunt asked sounding half hopeful half fearful.  
  
"Yes I remembered his eyes this time. They were golden more beautiful than any eyes I've ever seen!"  
  
Her cousin, Sieko, laughed "it sounds as if Rin is in love!" he said.  
  
Rin lunged for him but missed. He skipped outside all the while saying "Rin's got a shadow lover. Rin's got a shadow lover."  
  
Rin sighed as she walked outside to do her chores. Later on that day she sat by a pool in the forest near her home pondering her dream. She leaned back against a tree trunk and soon fell asleep.  
  
Young Rin sat in a field of wild flowers, picking one of every kind. "Lord Sesshomaru will love these," she said, not realizing that the stoic demon was not the type to like flowers. She hummed a simple tune to herself as she worked. Just as she finished Sesshomaru, along with his servant Jaken arrived. Rin stood up and ran to the tall demon. "Lord Sesshomaru, look what I've picked for you." The young girl said brightly. The demon took the bouquet of flowers with a forced smile.  
  
"Thank you Rin." He said. "Now come, its getting late, we must return to the castle."  
  
"Okay," Rin said and followed the demon lord back to his castle, amusing herself by pestering Jaken.  
  
"Sesshomaru?" she asked when they had arrived back at his castle.  
  
"Yes?" he replied looking down at her.  
  
"Can I stay here with you forever?"  
  
The demon regarded her seriously, "no, not forever Rin, you need other humans around, but you may stay fore a while longer."  
  
Rin sighed; she didn't ever want to leave.  
  
Rin awoke with a start. It wasn't the same dream but it had the man with golden eyes and silver hair in it. She remembered that much. She also remembered something new about the man. He had a blue crescent on his forehead.  
  
"Silver hair, gold eyes, blue crescent." She said. "Why do these dreams feel more like memories?"  
  
"Because they are." A new voice said. 


	2. trying to remember

a/n: I forgot my disclaimer in chapter one so here it is. Disclaimer: I hereby state that I do not own Rin or Sesshomaru or any other Inuyasha characters. And with no further ado...  
  
Ch.2. Trying to Remember.  
  
Rin looked up trying to locate the source of the voice. She found it on the opposite side of the forest pool. The silver haired man from her dream stood there. His golden eyes watched her unblinking as she studied him. "You're the one from my dreams!" Rin exclaimed jumping to her feet. "But you're a demon!"  
  
The silver haired man nodded. "Yes, Rin, I am a demon." He frowned at her, "do you remember nothing?" he asked.  
  
She shook her head. "How do you know my name and what do you mean, they are memories? I lived with my parents until I was seven."  
  
The demon easily leapt the pool and landed in front of the startled young woman. "Is that how you remember it?" he asked.  
  
"Well, no, I can't remember that far back, but that's what my aunt and uncle told me." Rin said. She knew she should be scared of this obviously powerful demon but strangely she was not.  
  
"They lied." He said simply. "You lived with your parents until they were both killed. You wandered around not saying a word for a long time. You found me when I was hurt and tried to help. You were killed by wolves and I brought you back to life using my Tenseiga."  
  
Rin just starred at him "Sesshomaru?" she asked hesitantly.  
  
He nodded, "so you do remember?"  
  
"I still only remember bits and pieces, but I remember you and the castle and—and Jaken!" she looked at him in shock "why would they lie to me?" she asked.  
  
Sesshomaru looked of in the direction of her farm. "I do not know," he said. "But I trust they have been treating you well?" he asked, a dangerous note entering his voice.  
  
"Yes, well," Rin hesitated, "my aunt does but my uncle, he tends to lose his temper some times."  
  
Sesshomaru looked at her sharply, "he hurt you?"  
  
"Only a few times and nothing too serious." Rin replied, "Well except for the knife incident but that was mostly my fault." Wait, Rin thought, why am I defending my uncle? It's not like he can hurt me with a demon on my side and I don't think Sesshomaru would let him try.  
  
"It was always your fault!" her uncle had shown up and he was madder then Rin had ever seen him. "Rin get away from that demon! He's dangerous." Rin didn't move. "Rin! Come here now!" her uncle yelled.  
  
Sesshomaru stepped in front of her. "How dare you treat her like that!" he snarled.  
  
"You can't have her back. She doesn't remember you. I made sure of that." Her uncle taunted.  
  
He must be drunk. Rin thought wildly, Otherwise why would he be stupid enough to taunt a demon?  
  
Sesshomaru covered the space between them in an instant. He grabbed her uncle by the throat. "What have you done to her?" he asked shaking the man.  
  
The man coughed and spluttered, clawing at the hand around his throat. Sesshomaru only squeezed harder  
  
"Alright, alright I'll tell you, just put me down." Her uncle choked out. The silver haired demon threw him roughly to the ground. "I gave her a powder I got from a village shaman. It erases all memories up until the point it was given. I wanted to make sure she never tried to go back to you."  
  
Rin just starred at her uncle in horror. "How—how could you do that to me?" she asked.  
  
"Apparently the powder only suppresses memories, because you started remembering, in your dreams." Rin's uncle said to her.  
  
Rin starred at the ground trying to remember, she strained her mind trying to tear down the wall around her past. With a final mental shove the wall toppled. Memory returned in a rush of images, sounds, and smells. Rin collapsed in a dead faint. 


	3. Castle of Dreams and the Woman in Black

A/n: sorry it took so long to update but I've been really busy with my local renaissance faire. Well here's chapter three, and it actually gets into the plot!  
  
Ch.3. Castle of Dreams  
  
Sesshomaru was at Rin's side in an instant. After making sure she was merely unconscious, he scooped her up in his arms and began walking into the forest.  
  
"Hey where are you taking her?" Rin's uncle yelled.  
  
"Home," Sesshomaru replied with out turning around. He walked into the forest where he had left Ah-Un and mounted the two headed dragon still baring the unconscious Rin in his arms.  
  
When Rin came to she was in unfamiliar surroundings. As she looked around the room she recognized her old room at Sesshomaru's castle. The bed was still huge to her though not as huge as it had seemed when she was younger. She got up and headed to where she remembered the study being, figuring Sesshomaru would be there. He was sitting at his desk looking over some papers but he looked up as she entered.  
  
"Rin you should be resting," he said sternly, "it takes a lot to break a spell like that."  
  
"I'm fine." Rin replied walking over to him. "How did I get here?"  
  
"I brought you here after you collapsed. Do you remember everything now?" he asked.  
  
"Yes I do." She looked up at the silver haired demon with questioning eyes. "Why did you let them take me?"  
  
"It would not have been fair to you, growing up away from humans." He replied.  
  
"I was never truly happy there though. I was content at times, but not happy. I was happy here." Rin said.  
  
He looked down at her. "Perhaps I was wrong."  
  
Rin stared up into his golden eyes and suddenly found it hard to breathe; she was relieved when he turned away.  
  
"I will call Jaken to bring you something to eat." He said heading to the hall to yell for Jaken.  
  
Why did I feel like that? Rin wondered as she stared at Sesshomaru's back. What just happened? I never had a problem looking him in the eye before. Rin could tell that life simply wouldn't go back to the way it was before. Something had changed but she wasn't sure exactly what it was or what it would mean in the future.  
  
"I thought we had a deal. You raise the girl and I get her when she turns eighteen!" a woman in a black hooded robe yelled at Rin's uncle.  
  
"I know that!" He hissed, "How was I supposed to know Sesshomaru was going to show up and her memories come back?"  
  
"He always had a soft spot for that human. Of course he was going to check up on her every now and then." The woman shook her head. "Never mind, we simply modify our plans slightly. Her eighteenth birthday is fast approaching and everything must be ready by then."  
  
"I still don't understand why we need this particular girl?" the man said.  
  
"Don't tell me you've gone soft?" the woman chuckled evilly.  
  
"N-no, I was simply curious." He stammered.  
  
"Just let me worry about that. Now go gather the ingredients I need. We must be prepared for anything."  
  
A/n: so who is the woman in black and what do you think she wants with Rin? Please review! 


	4. feelings and annoying inspiration

a/n: sorry it took so long but I've been super insanely busy. Well here's the next chapter. it's not the greatest but oh well the next one will be better I promise.  
  
Ch.4. Feelings and Annoying Inspiration.  
  
The next few days for Rin were spent re-familiarizing herself with the castle and its surroundings. It had not changed at all. This was not surprising considering what long lived creatures demons were, she imagined change came very slowly to them. When she got bored of wandering the castle she fell back on her favorite pastime of old; pestering Jaken. She was actually surprised the toad was still around having figured Sesshomaru would have squashed him long before now as he always threatened to do. Her nights were spent in the library reading and her mornings painting.  
  
Sesshomaru was never far off and never far from her thoughts. Rin sighed,_ I had hoped that I could come back and everything would go back to being the way it was before, but with these feelings I know that won't happen._ Rin had always thought Sesshomaru handsome but being only seven it had been no more then a child's love. Now that she was older however her affection for the silver haired demon had grow into something much more. _I had to have the bad taste to fall in love with him didn't I?  
_  
On one rather sunny morning about a week after Rin had arrived back at the castle she found herself in a field of wild flowers just out side the castle. She had come here when she was younger to pick flowers for Sesshomaru but now found this a perfect place to paint. She set up her easel and got out her paints. As she painted her mind wandered over the strange new feelings she had for Sesshomaru. If she had grown up with him she might have been content to have a simple father daughter relationship with him, but after being apart for so long that was no longer an option.  
  
She painted and pondered not really paying attention to her surroundings, which is why she jumped about four feet into the air when Sesshomaru spoke behind her. "Your painting is excellent," he said.  
  
Rin blushed at the praise and stammered out a denial. Sesshomaru watched her wondering what was causing her to behave so oddly. _I must have really startled her just now,_ he thought. Deciding that was it her shrugged it off and returned to the real reason he was here. "Rin, I am afraid I must go to a meeting with some allies of mine in the north. I will be gone for several days. Jaken will look after you."  
  
She gave him a look that clearly said "you're leaving Jaken in charge?"  
  
He, like he did most things, simply ignored it. "Please do not stray far from the castle; your uncle is still out there no doubt looking for you."  
  
"Sometimes I wonder if he really is my uncle." Rin muttered.  
  
"He is. Your blood and his are the same. It's in your sent. Did you think that I cared so little for you that I'd let any mortal claiming to be your family take you away?"  
  
Rin simply starred at him for a moment. Did he just say he cared for her? _As a daughter-like figure, Rin don't be an idiot. You're seeing emotions that aren't there!_ She mentally scolded herself. "Of course not!" she replied to his question, "I just thought that perhaps he might have tricked you or some thing!"  
  
"How could some mere mortal hope to trick me?" he asked haughtily.  
  
Seeing that this conversation was going nowhere Rin simply shook her head. "I hope your meeting goes well," she said instead.  
  
He gave her a look that said "why wouldn't it?"  
  
Rin sighed, why did he always have to be so full of himself? [_You wouldn't have him any other way,_] a voice in her head accused._ Shut up! I don't need your opinion on this! You stick to your area of expertise and leave me to deal with this!_ Rin said quite firmly to her Muse. [_Fine, seeing as you were doing so well sorting out on your own. You should see yourself standing there blushing like some love struck farm girl..._] _which I am._ Rin pointed out. [_If you're an ordinary farm girl then I must be a figment of your imagination._] _A rather annoying one,_ she retorted.  
  
"Rin, are you alright?" Sesshomaru's concerned voice ended her argument with her Muse.  
  
"What? Oh yes, um, I was just thinking," she lied. How on earth was she supposed to explain the strange being tied to her that was her inspiration for her painting?  
  
He nodded and headed back toward the castle with out another word.  
  
The next day Sesshomaru left with instructions for Jaken and warnings for Rin. Rin almost as soon as he left ignored them left the castle grounds to paint. Later she wished she would have listened. She had no sooner set up her easel at the edge of the forest then some thing hit her across the back of the head and her world went dark.  
  
A/n: hmmm. Could Rin's Muse possibly have any thing to do with the woman in black's desire for her? Read and review. 


	5. tears

a/n: okay here's chapter five. First though I want to thank choco-coco, Ryngrl5, animegirl007, and my other loyal readers and reviewers. I couldn't have done it with out you!  
  
Ch.5 Tears  
  
Sessshomaru sat at the meeting looking as stoic as ever. In truth he was bored out of his mind._ I wonder if Rin is doing well. I hope she is staying inside the castle grounds. If Jaken lets her get hurt I will flay him,_ He thought. His mind continued to wander as the meeting progressed, _I wonder what she's doing right now? It's late so she's probably reading in the library._ He was lucky his blank face didn't clue the other demons into the way his mind was tending towards undemonly thoughts. He missed Rin, he had when she was living with her family and though he had seen her only that morning he missed her now. He hoped she was safe as he no longer had the Tenseiga it having been broken I his battle with a demon from the south and he had not yet fond the means to repair it. He nearly sighed, catching himself at the last second he scolded himself mentally, _look at yourself sighing like some love-struck farm girl! You're a demon, get control of yourself! Just because you have feelings for Rin doesn't mean you should start acting all cute and cuddly.  
_  
"Lord Sesshomaru?"  
  
He looked up realizing a demon was speaking to him. "Yes?" he asked coldly to cover up the fact he had not been paying attention.  
  
"Um," the lesser demon gulped. "What is your opinion on the situation in the east?"  
  
"What it has always been," he said unhelpfully.  
  
Rin awoke with a splitting head ache and blurred vision. She could just barely make out the insubstantial form of her Muse hovering, concerned, at her side. "What happened?" she asked groggily, trying to rub her head and discovering her wrists were bound.  
  
[_You were attacked by you uncle and brought here._] Her Muse replied.  
  
"Where's here exactly? Oh why didn't I listen to Sesshomaru?"  
  
For once her Muse didn't reply with an annoying retort, she simply shook her shadowy head. [_I'm not sure, a cave some where._] Rin heard the sounds of footsteps approaching. Two blurry figures came into her view. One she knew to be her uncle and the other a figure in a black hooded robe.  
  
"I see you're awake." The hooded figure spoke in a vaguely familiar woman's voice. "Good, now listen carefully girl. You have something I want and unfortunately I can't get it unless you're dead."  
  
"Auntie?" Rin asked confused "what are you talking about? What do I have?"  
  
Rin's aunt cackled evilly. "Why my revenge, darling niece. Why else would I posses your aunt and go through all the trouble of prying you away from that Lord Sesshomaru?" the woman who was and was not Rin's aunt.  
  
"What revenge? What did I do to you?"  
  
"Nothing. It was your Muse, Keita. She sent me to hell a hundred years ago and now I'm gonna return the favor."  
  
"Keita? Is she telling the truth?" Rin had known her Muse had been a powerful sorceress in her life time but she had not known of her banishing any demons to hell.  
  
[_Yes, it is. Eressa, leave Rin out of this your hatred is toward me not her._]  
  
"True, but I can't drag you to hell with your host alive and well. Girl I suggest you right you precious demon a farewell letter, you won't ever see him again. Your eighteenth birthday is two days away and it is the only time I can do this spell." And with that she turned on heel and left, Rin's uncle by her side. Rin saw an ink pot with some paper and with legs and wrists still bound began writing her fare well to Sesshomaru, tears streaming down her face all the while.  
  
Sesshomaru could tell something was not right. The first day of the meeting he had shrugged it off as paranoia, by the second, he was sure. He raced back to his castle, hoping against hope he was wrong, which was something he did not do very often as he did not like to be wrong. He arrived home to find a frantic Jake clutching a tear splotched letter in his hands. "It's R- R-Rin," Jaken stuttered. He jerked the letter from the toad's hands and began to read.  
  
_Dear Sesshomaru,_

_ I'm writing this because it is my only chance to tell you what needs to be said before I die. My uncle is in league with an evil sorceress who has possessed my aunt. The sorceress wants revenge in my Muse who in her life time was a sorceress herself. First and for most I want to thank you for everything you have done for me and to tell you sorry for not listening to you and staying in the castle though I don't think it would have mattered , I only made it easier for them. And secondly I want to say I love you and I wish I could have spent the rest of my life with you. I realize you could never love me as more than a daughter but I wanted to tell you before I die . live well and do not morn my death. Go with my love my Sesshomaru. _

_Rin_  
  
He would kill Jaken later; right now he had to save Rin. He found the place where she was attacked and located her sent. With Toukijin in hand he raced off to save the only person he had ever loved.  
  
The day came, her eighteenth birthday, and the last day of Rin's life. Her uncle pulled her to her feet and dragged her out side. Holding her still as the sorceress approached with a small bottle in hand.  
  
"this poison will kill you off fast enough so you wont suffer to much but it will take long enough for me to complete the spell that will bind your Muse to your soul even in death. Then I will send you both to hell." She said this as if it was something she did every day, like plowing a field. She uncorked the bottle and grabbed Rin's head, pinching her nose while her uncle held her still. She poured the poison down her throat Rin coughed and spluttered trying not to swallow the poison but to no avail. Then suddenly she saw a silver blur out of the corner of her eye. The blur struck down the sorceress and her uncle in quick succession before she recognized it as Sesshomaru. Rin's legs had buckled and she watched from the ground as he pulled his sword from her uncle's body. He immediately re-sheathed his sword and rushed to her side. He pulled her into his lap  
  
"Rin, are you okay?" he asked, his normally blank face etched in worry.  
  
"You came." She reached her hand up to touch his face. "I swallowed the poison," she said sadly as her vision began to close in on her.  
  
"No! Rin you can not die, I love you," he whispered brokenly.  
  
"It's too late." She coughed, blood trickling from the corners of her mouth. Her eyes slid closed. Two tears leaked from Sesshomaru's golden eyes as he pleaded with her to stay, the first tears he had ever shed.  
  
a/n: it's awfully sad. Should I end it here? I could if you want, if not I'll keep going? Please review.


	6. fate

a/n: wow! I'm still alive. I've been so insanely busy it's not even funny. Anyway here is the long awaited chapter six. Sorry it's kind of short but I'm going to update really soon I promise. Thanks for all the lovely reviews I'm glad everyone like my story so much. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy in side.

Ch.6 Fate

Rin was floating; she could hear voices around her but couldn't understand them. She opened her eyes but all she saw was white. The voices sounded like they were arguing about something. Then Rin heard an all too familiar voice, it spoke in the odd language and it was angry. She struggled to see but her vision remained blank.

"Keita?" Rin called weekly. "Keita, what's going on?"

Rin heard her Muse's voice in her mind. [_Patience, Rin, we are trying to save you. But some do not agree._]

"Who's trying to save me? Where is Sesshomaru? Why can't understand?" Rin asked urgently.

[_Calmly Rin, Sesshomaru is with your body, and the High Council of heaven is trying to save you. I will make it so you can understand._]

The voices suddenly became understandable. She was right they were arguing.

"The girl has no right to by pass the laws of death!" one voice stated.

"But it was not her time! The girl should not be punished by her Muse's past life!" another shouted.

"I agree. it was no fault of her own."

"I still think it is not right. If we bend the rules this once what's to stop us from doing it again?"

"Yes, this power can not be abused."

"You are all forgetting something important." A quite voice stated. "This girl indeed does have a great purpose, but a sacrifice must be made by one of us if she is to be revived. The balance must not be destroyed."

Rin heard quite murmurs of assent.

"Yes the balance, a life for a life."

"The balance, if it is destroyed even _she_ could not right it"

"Is any willing to make that sacrifice?" the quiet voice asked. Rin had a feeling he was in charge.

Rin tried to speak to tell them she was not afraid to die but her voice would not work. [_It is not for you to decide. You must abide by their decision and mine._] realizing the implications of that last remark Rin tried even harder to speak, to stop her Muse from doing what she was about to do.

"I will make the sacrifice. She is my charge after all it is my duty. It is after all my fault she is here in the first place." Keita said.

"Keita, you mustn't," Rin heard several voices say. Rin nodded in emphatic agreement.

"it is my decision, I simply request a moment alone to say good bye."

"Granted. It is decided, you have your time." The quiet voice decreed and the voices faded.

"Please don't do this Keita." Rin pleaded when she could speak again.

"Hush, Rin, I want you to listen carefully. There is a task that you must perform and time is running out. You must travel to the western most reaches of the land then to the sea. There you're destiny will be revealed. I will no longer be able to help you, but remember this: there are more memories hidden deep within you, ones you must unlock. Rely on love and nothing will defeat you." Keita said.

"Keita, it is time." The quiet voice had returned.

"Good bye Rin,"

"Keita! No!" Rin cried.

"Remember."

Rin felt herself being pulled away and felt her grip on conscious slip. The next thing she new she was being held by strong arms. "Sesshomaru?" she asked weakly.

a/n: alright guys you know the drill. Review, review, review! Next chappie will be up soon.


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